Yes, why hajj? Apart of being an obligation to any moslem, hajj is a journey of reflection… at least to myself. Hajj is an exclusively personal pilgrimage to the holy land of Islam. Everybody has their own experience and undergo different things. One cannot compare what they have been gone through to others.

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Why hajj? Frankly, I didn’t even think about that when I decided to go. I just did. But then I got really terrified. Yes, who am I? I’ve been blessed with the chance to be here and there, the jungle, remote places, different countries, mostly by myself. But here I was so terrified of going alone, to the land of Muhammad where everything can happen just like that. It did make me thought of what I’ve done in the past. What I have done and what I haven’t done? Have I done enough? O, I didn’t even dare to think that my experience will survive me in this trip.

Why hajj? I was supposed to go at the end of 2003 but got delayed for a year. And it gave me time to rethink, reevaluate, and prepare. It was even more than going to the forest. You would heard the adzan for your farewell as if you won’t coming back but also as a sign of entering an unfathomed journey to the land where Islam begun. Three years ago and I was never alone. When you have blessed for seeing, visiting, touching, and praying at Nabawi, Quba, Qiblatain, who cannot deny but wonder of who am I, why am I here. When you have blessed for seeing the Ka’bah in front of you and even blessed to touch it, who cannot help but feel the glimpse of the past and recalled what you have told and read when you were a kid about Ibrahim AS. O yes my mind wandered of all the people who laid the foundation of this religion, and of what I become, and will become in the future.

Then, why hajj? I still couldn’t answer it. Yes, I had enough fund (although it hasn’t been recovered till now :P), still young, no big responsibility. Then why wait? I once heard that we should never wait for ‘the call’ as ‘the call’ is laid upon us. My long time supervisor and friend asked me whether I put the Hj title in front of my name. To me, Hajj is more than a title. It should be in my heart, inspire my way of life. O how I pray Allah will always guide me to keep my words. Insya Allah….